HOW I'VE GROWN AS A WRITER
T.D
Ms. MGlynn
English
06/09/22
I begin at the end where there is no hope left. The grades are near to being finalized and the C students have rejoiced. We will pass, if only slightly. I am in 11th grade. A junior in high school and a junior in all senses of the word. I am too young to be alone and too old to have a built in community. I am 17 and I am a nomad.
The first book I read this year was assigned reading. We were supposed to read a few chapters at a time but I finished the first section in a day. When I mentioned the book to my friend and she told me how the next section began, I stopped reading. My teacher hadn’t told us about the rape scean and I wasn’t about to read it on my own. There are some waters I won’t tread.
I switched english classes after i finished Death of a Salesman. Overall, I enjoyed the book. It gave me a view into what the corporate world holds for me. I don’t believe in there being “best years of one's life” but if anything, I don't want to waste any years of my life. Not that working at a desk job is wasting your time, it's just that if i did something like that, I think I'd die. I am a creature of movement. I am a shark. In more ways than one really. If I don't move I die. I get caught up in my thoughts, I spiral, I drown, whatever.
The two books that impacted me the most were ones that I chose myself. The Age of Miracles had been on my shelf for quite some time. I had gotten it at a library sale downtown and it looked interesting enough, so I bought it. When I picked it up it was out of desperation. I need something to read for quiet reading time in creative writing and it was the first thing I saw on my shelf.
The Age of Miracles is about a slowing earth. Literally. One day, the Earth’s rotation just started slowing down. At first there was a quiet denial, a worldwide agreement that this was some government sham. An attempt to keep the masses occupied as whatever nefarious plans were enacted. However, as the days and nights grow longer, mass confusion and hysteria set in. People are scared and rightfully so. The world as they know it is changing. The days go from 24 hours to 26 hours all the way to 40 some hours in nearly a month.
I won't spoil the book as it is absolutely incredible and definitely worth the read but I should warn you that it is a bit depressing. The book’s tone is quiet and its nature resigned to the fact that things are probably not going to get better.
While reading I was reminded of the phrase “Beauty within the unraveling.” This phrase could mean a lot of things but I take it in the context of The Age of Miracles, I take it to describe the beauty within something that is falling apart. The world in The Age of Miracles is doing just that. Falling apart.
As the book continues, things stop happening. children stop going to school, parents stop going to work, things stop happening, and the world continues to slow.
9/10 must read
The second book I read of my own accord was a science fiction book called Long Way to a Small Angry Planet. If I had to choose this book over The Age of Miracles, it would be this book every time.Long Way to a Small Angry Planet rips my soul out every time I read it. It has everything from found family, to introspection on what makes a person a person, to several fantastically written queer relationships. Did I mention that there's a romance between a sentient AI and her mechanic? BECAUSE THERE IS!!!! I'm a sucker for romance. I'm also a sucker for robots. You mix those two together and I am head over heels for your piece of media. This book has literally everything and I recommend it to everyone who wants to meet god when reading the last quarter of the book
For real though… 1000/10. Take me to the stars Lovelace :)
I did way more writing than I did reading this year.
The piece of writing I'm probably most proud of is the beginning of the book I'm writing. The book is called a Fruit’s Guide to Rotting and I'm immensely proud of the title. I am also immensely proud of its content. The story is about a young woman named Clementine who is searching for her sister. I'm not sure how to describe the story so I might as well put an excerpt here.
I notice that there's still spray paint on my hands as I'm lying in bed on monday. I had spent the previous day following John around town, watching him break into abandoned buildings and tag the side of the shopmart. that whole day I was in a haze. It felt like I was drifting in and out of reality. At one point, when I stopped to take a photo of one of his tags, I just stood there for a good 2 minutes. John had come up to me as I was staring off into space. He waved his hand in front of my face, then shook my shoulders. He later told me he was worried about me. I think that was the first time John was ever even slightly emotional with me. John and I have an understanding. We both know we are replacements for other people, substitutes for those we actually care about. It's not like I don't like him, but he's not the person I'd go to for help or to vent. Our friendship is shallow, but I would miss him if he decided to leave. Sometimes I wonder if he'd miss me, but from what I know of John, he'd probably just find someone else to sit with at lunch.
If I'm being honest I should have asked for help much earlier than I did. I struggled a lot this year. It was only in the last quarter that people started taking me seriously about my ADHD. By the time I got medicine for it, it was pretty much impossible to bring my GPA above a C.
If I'm being honest though, I don't really care. I've done my best considering the circumstances and it's like I said in the beginning:
I begin at the end where there is no hope left. The grades are near to being finalized and the C students have rejoiced. We will pass, if only slightly.
